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I Can't Believe It's Not Homestuck

An early-20-somethings girl stands alone in the corner of her blender cube. Today isn't her birthday... but IMAGINE how crazy of a coincidence it would be if it were! She, just like basically everyone else, was given a name when she was born, and she would tell you it herself but she seems a little uh... incapacitated(?) right now, so let me tell you it for her.

Her name is Gwyn Prescott.

Gwyn is a SHUT-IN NEET who likes to play DIFFICULT VIDEO GAMES, typically those set in dark, grimy, fantasy worlds. She likes to show off her skills in them to people on THE INTERNET, which is another thing she loves. She trawls through years and years of forums and message boards and video games guides, FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON.

When not playing video games, she likes to watch HORROR MOVIES and consume OTHER RELATED MEDIA, such as creepypastas! While she is terrified of going out in public, theres something about the simple, streamlined, easyily directed fear that comes with horror junk that justs puts her at ease somehow.

Like she's doing right now, Gwyn has a penchent for ZONING THE FUCK OUT and thinking about NOTHING AT ALL, so she comes off as a little spacy, which isn't really how she would put it, but whenever its brought up she struggles to find the proper words...

Her chumhandle is UnregisteredAccount (i cant think of one right now DX) and she doesn ' t type too weirdly . . . but she does tend to D R A W O U T her sentences . . .

omnipresentNarrator [ON] began chatting with UnregisteredAccount [UA]

ON: I know having a pesterlog on the same page as whatever you would call the other text thats above this pesterlog right now is SORTA breaking the tried n' true conventions of Homestuck, but well...
ON: This ain't exactly homestuck now is it? B')
UA: who are you talking to ?
ON: Oh- uh...
UA: what ' s going on here ? ! ? who even are you . . ?
ON: Would you look that it's time for me to go! hahaha!!!

omnipresentNarrator [ON] stopped chatting with UnregisteredAccount [UA]
omnipresentNarrator [ON] blocked UnregisteredAccount [UA]

UA: W H A T T H E F U C K ? ? ?

> Gwyn: Zone The Fuck Out Again